Chase the Feeling: Profound Occurrences




For quite some time now I have felt the strain of the remnants of my old life. Alcohol, womanizing/sexual sin, ill-uses of my tongue… these things continually being present in my life and depleting me of happiness and self-worth. As every weekend hit I found myself indulging in one regret or another. Slowly stirrings began to transpire within me as I prepared myself for the walk I am destined to undertake. The man on the other side of the mirror, the reflection of what I could be through the fruition of potential. As of late, I have begun to drawn nearer to Christ than ever before. My heart is open, my head is being made clear (as the fog dissipates). God is moving for me, he is waving me in, beckoning to me. This spirit journey I am navigating is profound in power. This roller coaster in which I leap…. Then falter, leap… then falter again. God has presented me with endless opportunities to take the plunge. He drives my life when I am close to him and I feel him lining up my life, “tee-ing” me up. Clarity, full vision of my future, yet I still falter! Sundays ago, our church spoke on their drive and call to their mission/purpose. I was filled with more lasting motivation that I had experienced in awhile, a new focus instilled within me. Tackling a god relationship every day (prayer, devotionals, bible plans) and I kept this up for a full WEEK…..and in that week alone a mission trip and a Christian bible retreat were presented to me. That same week some promise was shown in a job search that had been fruitless for an entire month previously (which has been the biggest anxiety of my life in this season). In all and through all of the momentum that god graced me with, I still ended up spending 4 days in New Orleans turning from prayer and going on a mini-“bender”. The trip was incredible, but it took away from my focus on God’s plan. This life motivation that can burn so strongly inside my heart, to become so fleeting in an instant is saddening. I want to be a man of action, a man of god; I want to be a MAN! So now I am here in Michigan amongst the tress, and I am sprinting in my Chase of this Feeling! God is moving me. Here I come. I feel my best when I am close to god. When I give up my insecurities and anxieties to him, when I access his spirit in my day, when I feel him in my bones through sermon and worship, when I pray, when I follow the bread crumbs laid out by him. These are the things that fill me, these are the things that call me closer to him and those closest to me. All of my relationships benefit when I am closer to god. God’s armor makes me feel invincible, no ill thought or occurrence can get me down, I am immune to hardship because I know who is on my side. That feeling radiates into my relationships and the on-goings of my day. As I grow in faith, I am glad to day that I have grown as a son, brother, mentor, teacher, and as a significant other. I am going to continue to chase this feeling and I am glad to say that I have a significant other on a similar growth journey with me, and a mother that encourages me in this journey. Additionally, I am hoping to take my brothers/friends along with me. I am thankful for all of these blessings in my life. God is good.

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